Brick at 49

The look of a contented man.

     For the past few days I've been wondering why I, or anybody, would want to take the time to do this blog thing.  You know going in that most often you're probably writing it more for an audience of one and at times you might not want to read it either.  But I do think it is cathartic in the way that a diary or journal can be by allowing a person to create hard copy thoughts.  The thought most dominant in my mind lately is that I'm 49 years old.  I'm thinking about it because there are lots of changes going on in my life right now that are disruptive to my long established routines.  They are long worked for changes and good things, but still disruptive.  This woman I know has a new impressive job that comes with long hours and a long commute.  My son, let's call him Chip, is gearing up to leave the house that he has been the central focus of for the last 18 years to seek higher education in the wilds of Indiana.  We are going to spend two months in "The Second City".  And I'm about to hit the half century mark.

       This isn't a "middle age crazy" rant.  First off I think I'm beyond middle age unless I plan on living to 100; I don't.  Second I'm not uncomfortable with my age.  I like it.  Next year I will have the longest tenure of any teacher in our building and I like that.  I've accomplished some things, taken on responsibilities and I feel like I've made a contribution while having made positive impacts on lives.  Writing contemplatively makes this seem like my obituary, but its not meant to be.  I'm just cataloging contentment.  I'm pretty sure I'm a good husband, at least this woman I know indicates that I am, and if the my son is any indication of my skills as a parent then I'm an outstanding father because he is an outstanding human being.  I wish I could take all the credit there but I'm happy with just a little and really happy with the man he has become.

Sunset, Mallory Square, Key West

     So with all this contentment and happiness and birds singing and flowers blooming why I'm I so myopically focused on my age?  I think it is because of the perspective that it gives me of the world.  I've always been a fan of Richard Carlson's line "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff".  With the few very big exceptions of Faith, Family, and Friends, I buy that philosophy.  The stuff that was important to me in my teens means next to nothing to me today.  The priorities of my twenties are a mixed bag of successes, failures, and jettisoned dreams.  And so on.  And I'm sure that when I'm 59 I'm going to have even more perspective and wonder, "What the heck was I thinking 10 years ago?".  But that is where my head is at right now; it's all small stuff.  If I can pay the bills and go for walks and find new restaurants to explore and spend time with my family and friends and at church then the other stuff is just the minutiae of distraction.  That is the back story to explain "The Summer of Brick".  If I have the chance for a two month vacation why wouldn't I take it?  I am so looking forward to this.  It will give me time to do some more thinking.

"its all small stuff."